I have a great life. I have the 2 kids, boy then girl, with a great guy who treats us all well, and is very much a huge part in our lives (unlike some dads I know). We live in the typical Ranch style house, moderate yard, in a little suburb. A run down, older part of town, but that's fine. I am able to stay home with my kids (though I sometimes seriously re-think this, and wish I had a job for some good ol social interaction with other adults and time away from home). I am able to drive my son to a better school- not top notch, but average. Our school is waaaay below average. I have both my parents, who have been married for FOREVER. :) I have 3 awesome sisters, ones that I had trials and tribulations with when I was younger, but now we all get along well. We live comfortably, which I am extremely gratefull for since we were on welfare when we were younger. lol.
But I am unhappy with several things, most of which are my own fault, some not. Considering my life, people probably think I am being absurd and ungrateful, which COULD be the case, but I don't really think so.

1. I am a fattie. My own fault, but I struggle GREATLY with willpower. I am an emotional eater as well. I eat fatty foods and huge portions. We don't have chips or anything like that, so I guess that is good. lol

2. I need dental insurance. Bad. But even as a business owner, I am having a hard time looking for some at a reasonable price with good coverage for what I need done. I am now less a happy person, cause I really don't like to smile. :(

3. I am always short on money. MY money. The money I use to buy the kids' clothes, shoes etc. with. I need more daycare kids to help out with that, but unless I go to a full week, it isn't likely to happen anytime soon. We need a house where I can kind of seperate the daycare from our actual living space, like a split level home. Then I could hire someone for the days I wanted off for family. :)

4. I really miss adult conversations. I love Terry so much, but I would also like other adults conversations as well.

5. I have been needing a really good cry, and I HATE crying in front of anyone, cause I am an ugly cryer. lol. You know what I am talking about- red eyes, nose, puffy face, snotty etc. And the face redness can last for hours! Not pretty, lol. :) So.....since I am constantly with my kids and/or Terry, I haven't had a good cry in...........at least a year. Probably a lot longer, but who knows.

6. I love Terrys work schedule, and the fact that he has a great paying job, etc. But I really dislike the leaving for 3 weeks, coming home to work Monday through Friday, gone at 6am home around 8pm. Then leave for yet another week. I always used to joke how I could not be a military wife because I couldn't handle the seperation. I can't even handle 3 weeks. lol.

7. I feel like a failure with my kids. I know they are good kids, but i just doubt how much of it is me. I don't know.....

BUT.....I am happy and greatful for my awesome life and family. :) I just sometimes need to let things out, even if they are silly, small or irritating. Nobody really knows of this site, so I am good to go. :) I would keep a journal, but ever since my mom and Missy snooped in my diary when I was younger, I don't trust those things. :D